How to Build Better Communications: First, Make Contact

A really important part of meaningful living has to do with meaningful connections with others in our lives. We may spend a lot of time with family, friends, partners, co-workers, but the quality of these relationships really isn’t about how much time we spend together. In fact, you may have examples from your own life of old friends who you see once in a blue moon, yet it feels as though no time has passed when you get together. What makes these connections different? Making contact!

Making contact is the experience of really being present and open to connect with someone in conversation. It is a way of listening and relating that allows you to connect more effectively and more meaningfully with others.

Here are some tips for building up your Making Contact Muscles!

Working with the Impossible...?

Recently I was thinking about the question “what is possible?”. It struck me that while we may not consciously ask ourselves this on a day-to-day basis, we are indeed answering it each day with how we live in the present and view the future.

As a trainer promoting wellness in organizations, I cringe at the extent of what I call “rah-rah-rah” books which seem to easily exhort notions like “the sky is the limit, just believe in yourself”. As a therapist, I feel this sort of philosophy oversimplifies people’s complex psychologies, and is much like tasting a teaspoon of sugar for a remedy: sweet indeed, but not long lasting and no nutritive substance to it. Surely, the way we think about things is very significant, but it is not always easy to change. And it says nothing of the very real challenges in the outside world that we may come up against: poverty, discrimination, competing demands to name a few.

Use Questions (Not Answers) to Get Out of a Rut

A few years ago, I was talking with someone who felt overwhelmed--she was pressuring herself over and over to “figure out what I’m going to do for the rest of my life”. She was frustrated and worn down. So, where to begin in a situation like this?  Here are 6 Steps to get the ball rolling again...